House Guest

a prayer inspired by a prayer of the Columban Fathers

 

Our Father who is above us:

We are magnetized to mercy and love; attracted toward a friendship with the divine.

Distractions and abstractions often get in the way of knowing you more fully.

But you are faithful to sit alone when we have stood you up.

You are loyal to your love for us even while we doubt your motives and question whether or not you’ll be there for us.

 

You reside in the house of my absence; your summer home is the villa of my ignorance.

Why do you keep my place so tidy when I won’t even offer you a drink?

 

Momentary events bring us doubt, but time reveals the quiet work you are ever up to.

You share your life for all and invite us to share our lives with you;

to tell you bluntly of pain and loss, to seek enlightenment when confusion strikes, to sing with you over every little thing that brings us joy.

family gather

Your welcome is like an open door where the family gathers for a holiday

and the long, suffering patience you possess gives room for the skeptic, confidence to the believer

and a passion to spread the good news in fewer words and with greater compassion.

In this way you save us: holding back the closing doors of a narrow mind and broadening the channels of our hearts.

 

Amen.

 

Nine-Eleven

 9_11cover

Easy Sermon

by Mark Jarman

It must be easy to preach a sermon nowadays — A friend

 

Sermons are easy, Turgid or breezy,

When everything goes wrong

Every scripture Leads on to rapture,

When doom has struck its gong.

 

When towers are falling

And muezzins are calling,

It’s simple to kneel and pray.

A message will come

To the deaf and the dumb

In an easygoing way

 

When nothing is certain,

Up goes the curtain

Where the inner sanctum lurks

And everyone sees

The forest and trees,

The treason and the clerks.

 

And so every creature

Turns to the preacher

For the meaning of it all.

And a couple of cents

Can be sheer eloquence

When the highest powers fall.

 
twintowerlights

God of Hope and Peace:

Be near us.

Guard our hearts. Guard our minds. Guide our deeds.

Amen.

 

The Rant

a morning prayer

 

Come near, Spirit of God, and listen. Listen closely.

Listen to my whispered words, my angry rants, my quiet conversations.

Consider all the ways my mind searches for reason.

Give thought to every way my heart reaches out for purpose and meaning.

Let every thought and uttered syllable come to you, as a cry for hope, peace, mercy and help.

Let every impulsive word be my prayer. Let my careful words be a psalm.

This is how I make my prayer, in busy mornings on hectic days.

Just like this: my voice, with every inflection, however it is heard, will come to you.

In the morning, you hear me.

Stay tuned. There will be a lot more to come.

Thanks for listening.

It’s good to know someone is.

Amen.
rant

Give ear to my words, O Lord; give thought to my heart-searchings. Let the voice of my cry come to you, my King and my God; for to you will I make my prayer. My voice will come to you in the morning, O Lord; in the morning will I send my prayer to you, and keep watch.” Psalm 5:3

A prayer written to serve my agnostic friends

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A prayer inspired by the 63rd Psalm

 

To the God whom we suspect is present though unseen

because we have come to our limit, like one walking through an empty home

And yet, something acts outside and within.

Like the sound of children playing in the street and the phone that rings,

something beyond ourselves both causes and responds.

And though we believe we are masters of our own space

We find this is too small a power to be all there is to know.

Having put all our hope in our own self, we are robbed of better strength

And a greater love.

There is something which draws us from the lonely house to know who it is who lives beyond our walls.

So we confess, it is Your goodness that makes us alive to hope.

We confess that something we cannot name or explain makes us long to be with the others who live close and the One who created this community.

To the God whom we suspect is present though unseen

Help us. Protect us from the dangers we are unaware of that lurk outside our walls.

Save us from isolation. Rescue us from the arrogance that keeps us alone in an empty house;

An empty house which you must have built. For I live here, but I confess, I have no tools.

When we find the courage to call out to You, hear us. Help us.

In silence, we wait for your knock upon our lonely door.

Be our teacher. Be our friend.

Amen.

Who is that man?

…She became his wife; and he loved her… ~Genesis 24:67

The multiple hats on this pastor’s head argue over who is the greatest among them.

The Teaching Pastor wants to take this narrative about Abraham’s servant and the search for Isaac’s wife and sliced it up into a 3 part sermon:  1) Prepare  2) Pray  3) Wait.  Prepare by gathering as much information as you can; know what your goal is; explore alternative approaches; define unacceptable outcomes and failure so you have permission to pull the plug if it is going off course. Pray for God’s direction and look for clear indications that God is working to avoid the pitfall of succeeding in your own resourcefulness alone.  Unless the Lord builds the house…  Wait:  patience is the hardest part. Expect that God will be faithful and put it all together at just the right time and in the right way.  But, like Abraham’s servant, you must be prepared, prayed up, and watching for the hand of God to move ready to act when God provides the answer!

An inner Spiritual Director questions whether this is “unhelpful” and wants to let the passage speak for itself: push the Patriarchs aside and give room for Rebekah, this amazing woman, to speak out of her own story.  The virtues of strength and generosity are hers.  She is decisive.  She is beautiful. Her name is often translated: captivating but that only tells half the story.  Literally, Rebekah means “tied down”.  The connotation is positive.  Not a yoke of slavery or submission, this “tied down” means the important things are secured.  Cattle have been tended and won’t wander off.  The family’s goods are strapped down and won’t be lost in the sudden storm winds of the desert. Rebekah is a woman with a strong handle on things.  It gets done and done right when Rebekah is around.  Maybe that’s why her mother and her brother tried to keep her around for another week or two following her wedding proposal. Can you say more about that, Rebekah?

The Chaplain hears something else in the passage.  Isaac is comforted after his mother’s death. Sarah has died and Isaac is alone.  Practically an only child, Abraham is a workaholic absentee father. Isaac is, perhaps 40-ish by now, managing one of his father’s field offices.

Abraham and Sons Securities and Livestock, LLC. —Negev Branch

This must be a hard time for you, Isaac. How has the loss of your mother affected your work? Where do you see God in your life at this time?

The Student of Christ in me hesitantly raises a hand to half mast and wonders in a much too humble voice if Isaac’s dedication to meditation demands some attention.  Rebekah, in the original language, falls off her camel when she sees this man praying. Among his attributes of looks and wealth, is a developed prayer life equally attractive?

Then I call the class to attention.  Voices are silenced for a meaningful pause.

I ask this question:

Isn’t it enough to simply enjoy a love story?

Does it really need to be more than that?

God has brought a strong, beautiful woman to a lonely, godly man in a culture where marriages had more to do with clan preservation and consolidation of wealth.

Two distant lives become two hearts melting into one.

And no one noticed:

Right in the middle of the busyness of the business of religion, clan politics, financial transactions and work related stress

God wrote a love story.

…and they lived happily ever after…

 

Like the Lion…

Morning_Lionlion_morning

 

 

 

 

 

 

A morning prayer inspired by the Jewish tradition

Like the lion of the plains, may we also greet this morning with

Strength, Focus, and Purpose.

With gratitude, we thank You, Living and Eternal One

for returning our souls within us, with compassion.

 

Your faithfulness is limitless.

 

Our God is a God of Happiness and Joy

who cleanses our mind, our body, and our soul

with instruction, holy habits, and ethic.

 

Thank You for shaping us in this holy image

so that good is found continually.

Purify our thoughts.

Purify our motives.

Purify our hands.

Sanctify all we do so that blessing and joy will visit our neighbor.

 

Amen.

 

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Luke is reminding us of the Lord’s Prayer.  But this is more than a re-stating of a sacred Christian mantra.  Luke’s edited version is engineered to fit into a larger, more comprehensive lesson.  Luke forces our focus in new directions and insists that we see the Lord’s Prayer in particular ways; forbidding us to hear it and say it mechanically.

I cannot say, “Lead us not into temptation” if I deliberately put myself in a place to be tempted.

I cannot say, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us” if I am withholding mercy from another until they manage somehow, in their broken and dysfunctional love, to satisfy my demand for personal justice.

I cannot say, “Give us our daily bread”, if in reality I am super focused on tomorrow’s steak.

I cannot say, “Thy kingdom come” if I am resentful of that king’s authority in this moment.

I cannot say, “Hallowed be thy name”, If I am careless with that name.

I cannot say, “Father” if I do not approach God like a child.

Luke is a wordsmith.  Here he weaves three powerful images:  Prayer. Bread. Children.

If Luke is giving us a new twist on the Lord’s Prayer— maybe it is Oliver Twist.

Think of it as “a child’s prayer for bread.”

But I’d rather not.  “A Child’s Prayer for Bread” is too lightweight for human brokenness; too ethereal;  too sacred-sounding to be presented here into the theology of gritty, proclamation gospel.

Instead of a Child’s Prayer for Bread, let’s call Luke’s lesson:

Beg for bread like a child.

When Jesus teaches us to be “as children” the temptation is to imagine all kinds of lies.

We coo at newborn babies.  Grab at the cutest chubbiest cheeks.Image

If you have had children—or have ever been a child—you know that children are far from innocence and stylized photo poses.

They are not humble.

Children are filled to the eyebrows with a sense of privilege.  They are full of self justification like there was a buy three get one free for each liter sale. Like most adults, there is no distinction for a child between want and need.  The only thing more irritating than a child’s inflamed selfishness is that it happens to be hardwired and riveted to the parental call button:  mom, mom, mom, mom

These are the negative and immature characteristics of what it is be “as a child.”

Is there anything to being as a child that is helpful in my approach to God?

A prayer master during a spiritual retreat once advised his listeners to adopt what he called the APU program as they prayed.  When predictably they asked what the acronym meant, he smiled and said, “Be Aggressive.  Be Persistent.  Be Unreasonable.”

Approaching God like a child in prayer means that I am aggressively curious.

Like that child the week or two before Christmas, who knows the gifts are somewhere in the house,

Search for them.

Just because you can’t see them in no way convinces you they are not there.

You know they are there.

When you search in the most oddball out of the way places, you are sure to find the gift that has been there all along.

Charis — that is, “the gift” –that is, “grace”– is present in your suffering, has been there all along too.

It may not be obvious where Charis is but you can be sure it is there.

Seek and you will find.

If it’s on your Christmas list—you have asked— and it will be given.

See, this is another irritably endearing attribute of children: Children aren’t afraid to ask.

Until we train them to be polite, a child will demand for whatever their little heart desires.

So I say to you: ask and it will be given…everyone who asks receives.

The grace of God is given to the one who is so bold as to stand at a door and knock…and knock and knock.

The man who needs bread—that bread of life that only God can give—never leaves the doorstep—cannot leave because he is starving.

He will not leave without bread.

There is no sense in going home with the same emptiness – that same overwhelming need that drove him to a friend’s door in the inconvenient middle of the night.

Rather than talk you out of what you should and should not ask God for—or in what way you should or should not ask God; I would let God be the parent.  I would encourage you to ask and acquiesce to God the authority of being the parent–  He will give or deny according to His will.

As a child before God, your task is to ask fully anticipating good things.

You are not Charlie Brown. Stop expecting to get a rock at every door you knock on.

So we ask with Aggressive curiosity, Persistent boldness…  and we pray also with all the unreasonable nature of a child.

Before they learn the value of things; before they know the weight of reality—Children dream.

Oh, how children imagine; limitless.

Have you ever noticed that when a child plays “pretend like” or “make believe”, no matter how overwhelming the odds, how strong the bad guy, how impossible victory is—the dragon never wins.

Never.

Somehow, no matter how improbable or unreasonable, the imagined hero is always faster, smarter, stronger —always crushes the serpent’s head under a heel.

Children at imaginative play can overcome the world. It’s old hat. They are veterans at this sort of thing.

This is the kind of spiritual optimism Luke is handing back to us.

You now have permission to dream again; all it takes is faith and trust—and just a pinch of pixie dust  –Third star to the left and straight on till morning.

The Holy Spirit of God is given to those who are Aggressive, Persistent and Unreasonable enough to ask.

When I was a child I wanted to grow up to be just like my Daddy.

I imagined it.

I could see it in my mind.

Now that I am an adult, I still want to grow up to be just like my Daddy—my Abba—my heavenly Father.

So, let me dream, if it’s all right with you.

Let me imagine that I could be an imitator of God.

Let me make believe that all I need for life and godliness has already been given.

Let me dream that I can be as He is in this present world.

Let me aggressively, persistently, and unreasonably trust in the promises my Father made.

Can I ask you to step out of the living room where the adults are: masking the tantrums of their selfish hearts with polite chatter and soul numbing realities?

Would you join me in the play room for a moment?

Here, we children have gathered around Jesus.  He laughs at our silliest jokes; pretends to be frightened when we sneak up behind; listens with wide eyes to our heroic school tales.

Look at us, pestering and bothering the Alpha & Omega.

Listen to us laughing and begging and demanding his time and attention and the Charis he hides in his hand behind his back; taunting us to guess what it is.

We can’t.  No, it’s not a pony!

When you pray, say “Father”.

You can call him Father, but only if you approach him like a child…His ‘specially loved child.

Why Are You Weeping? Whom Are You Seeking?

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John 20:12-16

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

and she saw two angels in white sitting, one at the head and one at the feet, where the body of Jesus had been lying.  And they said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “Because they have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid Him.” When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, and did not know that it was Jesus.  Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?” Supposing Him to be the gardener, she  said to Him, “Sir, if you have carried Him away, tell me where you have laid Him, and I will take Him away.”  Jesus said to her, “Mary!” She turned and said to Him in Hebrew, “Rabboni!” (which means, Teacher).

Why are you weeping?

Why are you weeping?

Each tear has a name, you know, for every pain

every loss, each hurt; all fears.

Those tears are recorded stories.

What do they say —

about love lost

or

life lost?

Mary, why are you weeping?

She was set free, you know.

Delivered.

Rescued

from a gang of dark spirits.

Now her Savior is gone.

Will they return?  What happens if they do? Who will defend her then?

Why are you weeping?

Well,

this tear is for fear of the dark, and the things that move in it.

The one trickling close behind swells with the anger born from abuse:  by men; being used by men.

From the other eye streaks one for the ladies.  

You know the ones.

They begin as mean girls and grow up to be wicked women

whose words bruise deeper than any man’s hand.

Why are you weeping?

For years lost

and

deep regrets

Not just two tears — but a tear for every lost year and every guilty regret.

Tears fall the more; falling still.

Mary weeps till her face glistens; bathed in the anguish of

depression

oppression

shunning

and

hate.

O why are you weeping, Mary?

And not one

Not nearly one tear

but a crowd of tears welling up into those crying eyes

for the One that was lost.

He once spoke of a lost lamb

worth more than 99.

Who knew He would become the Lamb that was Lost.

5,000 tears gather like a crowd in a valley

hungry

to hear the words of life pour from his lips.

Mary, why are you weeping?

For his smile.  Those eyes.  A voice resounding over sea storms

or

whispering life across miles to a child who has died.

Mary, why are you weeping?

For a life in shambles.

Never did anything right. Always.

Always

the wrong place

the wrong time

the wrong friends

the wrong side of the tracks

the wrong choices

Mary, why are you weeping?

He was her closest and truest friend.  The best of us.  He deserved a proper burial.

Don’t        

you        

understand?

It was the best we could do.  

           Sabbath was about to begin.  

This tomb was close.

           It was free.

We had no where else to take him.

She wanted to do right, for His sake.

Couldn’t even wrap him right.

Couldn’t even bathe him in fragrance.

          Always doing it wrong.

Here now, to finish the job

He’s gone.

Why are you weeping?

Do you know where he is?

Why are you weeping?

I’ll take him away!

          Why are you weeping?

                          Whom are you seeking?

Mary,

Whom are you seeking?

Relationships aren’t crutches.

They are Leg 1 and Leg 2 that gives the power to

stand up straight

move forward

jump for joy

But you have to know who it is you’re looking for… and why.

Whom are you seeking?

Some search for a lawyer type.  Someone who will defend and justify even our bad behavior.

Some look for a policeman.  Someone to enforce rules on them because they can’t police themselves.

But some,

some are searching for a helper… a teacher… a guide.

and will settle for a “gardener” —  a custodian of the dead spaces and dark places.

Someone who can offer directions, knows the markers, understands the graveyard layout.

Whom are you seeking?

Convinced that no one understands.

Sure that somebody got here just ahead of you—

taking what is rightfully yours

hiding it

abusing it

losing it

Just whom are you seeking?

If you’ve taken him away  — tell me where!

A gardener knows his way around these

tombs

Markers of forgotten memories

Resting places of lost loves and lives lost

Those sad, stone faces of dreams that died too soon.

Whom are you seeking?

Crying over an empty tomb.  What will a gardener do?

Or

Does your Hope demand something more?

A substance for Faith; Love actually:  that is, a real love that never quits

and can’t be extinguished by

mistakes or immaturity

not by torture

not even by Death.

Whom are you seeking?

Mary is here.

And He is there — standing just behind.

Blinded.

A tear drenched, swollen eyed blindness.

Sobbing over a persisting pain of the present moment.

Today’s tears prevent her from seeing clear — from seeing Him

from seeing the promise of Life more abundant

standing near

standing there — just an arm’s length away.

Whom are you seeking?

Would it surprise you to learn that the One for whom you are searching

is searching for you

“Mary”

Why do you weep?

       Whom do you seek?

Our Hope is in Him

Jesus

Through whom we are introduced, by Faith, into Grace

St. Paul — Romans 5:5

And Hope does not disappoint because the Love of God has been poured out

over us…through us…within us…by the Holy Spirit

And while we were still helpless

Christ assumed our helpless state

and by the great Mercy of God He has caused us to be born again to a living Hope

through the Resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.

St. Peter — 1 Peter

Some say “a crutch”.

I say two legs

to stand on

two legs

to move forward in faith

two legs to jump for joy!

We find Joy in suffering.

Not because we are crazy or lie to ourselves.

But because hell moments reveal the face of Grace.

Through red, swollen eyes we will see one we mistook for a gardener

becomes the one who saves;

turns out to be the one we’ve been looking for all along.

Faith, tested by hardship and trouble and pain is purer, stronger stuff.

And though you have not seen Him, you Love Him,

and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him,

you dance with an

inexplicable

inexpressible

irrepressible

Joy

Full of Glory!            Full of Glory!           Full of Glory!

Your tears are mourning blessed to comfort

Blessed are those, too, who seek, for they will find!

—Or should I say, He found you, weeping and seeking —

The Soul saving One

Jesus.

Messiah.

To Kiss the Face of God

To be loved is one thing.

To be certain of love is something else.

Words,

Gestures:

Impotent.

Useless.

unless —

linked to a

  Truth.sunrising_holdinghands

Actuality.

Something so reliable it goes without saying:

like, “The Sun will rise tomorrow.”

 

Can I know that God loves me?

More –

Can I know that God loves me now?

God Gives me daily bread. Essentials provided.

Nice. But easily placed under the column heading: moral obligation

What about gifts?  God’s favor and blessing!

Sweet. But if it comes from the surplus of your power, resources, time…

it is only a hand-me-down of the forgotten, easily discarded at the outskirts of

your heart

your passion

your self

Well, what do you want from me?

Something that doesn’t part from you easily

Something that costs you something

Puts you at risk

Awkward

Endangered

A statement that I or they are worth the counter-intuitive, reckless, self denying

action

How do I know God loves me?

That God loves me even now?

Communion.  The  Lord’s Supper.  

True food.  True drink.

A broken body.

A life laid down.

Bleeding.

Broken.

Humiliated – publicly.

The sacrificial

act

of God’s unrelenting love for you

God loves  you.  Loves you now.

In this moment

this same crisis, failure, unlovable-worthless-wreck-of-a-life moment.

 

Don’t think too much on it:
this gesture that embodies the act

Just close your eyes

and receive it…

By receiving communion, we lean into the One who is already leaning in toward us.

God kisses.

We are kissed

with a sacrament that speaks louder than words.

 

communion